Wound

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.

What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.

::::

Even it's spicy, you say it's not
Even it's hot, you say it's cold
Even it's black, you say it's white

If you love someone, you say you don't
If you're hurt, you say you're o.k
If you're sick, you say you're not

That's what you do

Sometimes

We went for clerking as usual today at the evening.
Clerk for tmrw class with Dr Mra.

As we're clerking suddenly someone asked me
'Why ur face shows that ur bored or doesn't interested with this case?'

The thing is, I always make a face like that whenever I felt tired.
It's 6 pm in the evening. I've been in the hospital throughout the day.
Running.. Standing.. Took history.. Do physical examination.
It's really exhausting.
It's not like I'm complaining. But it's fun.
Don't expect me to smile throughout the day.

Even though sometimes u find I'm put on a stressed face,
Sometimes I was stress out.
Afraid of something.
And sometimes I'm thinking.

To people out there,
We as a doctor, are human beings not a robot.


p/s: we went back at 8 pm. Gile macam HO. Nasib xkene punch card ;P

Future

When something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end.
We spend our whole lives worrying about the future,
planning for the future, trying to predict the future.


The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes.
But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself
The future far away beyond of what we imagine

Pain

Pain, you just have to ride it out.
hope it goes away on its own.
hope the wound that caused it heals.

There are no solutions.
no easy answers.
you just breath deep and wait for it to subside.

Most of the time pain can be managed
but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it.
Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up.

Pain, you just have to fight through.
because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross,
when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss,
we all move through five distinct stages of grief.

We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true.

We become angry with everyone,
angry with survivors,
angry with ourselves.

Then we bargain.
We beg.
We plead.
We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day.

When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain,
we fall into depression, despair,
until finally we have to accept that we've done everything we can.
We let go.
We let go
and move into acceptance.

Time

A patient's history is as important as their symptoms.
It's what helps us decide
if heart burn's a heart attack.
if a headache's a tumor.
Sometimes patients will try to re-write their own histories.
They'll claim they don't smoke, or forget to mention certain drugs.
which in surgery can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually always comes back to haunt us